I recently attended a talk by Mark Sham, a motivational speaker and traveler of note. I was drawn to his posts on Facebook as he continuously promotes South Africa as a country through his travels.

Mark bought a building in Cape Town and was launching it and offered free tickets on his talk on Happiness. I immediately thought who gets anything for free these days and I certainly needed happiness in my life!

Neil and I attended the launch and we got to meet Mark. The Tryst was fully booked with not an empty chair free. Everyone was excited for the launch and wanted to hear him speak. Mark didn’t disappoint as a great motivational speaker, sharing how his career began years ago and how it really took off after Covid.

There were so many takeaways that stood out for me. Happiness is not taught in school, yet everyone strives for it. We think as soon as we’re 21, get married, have children, get a job, travel, leave the job, leave the friendship/relationship, or win the lotto we’ll be happy. But happiness feels like an anticlimax when those milestones are hit, in fact it seems to be further out of reach!

That’s because happiness is not what you think. We can never depend on one thing to make or keep us happy. It will always be a moving target and the only way to truly be happy – if it exists is to be aware of what’s happening inside of us. Is there pain, confusion, addiction, trauma going on, then we have to fix them. Yes, it takes work, everything worth having takes work, and no one can do it for us.

Mark made me think about a lot of things I thought was important. I was that person who thought that if I achieved all my life goals, happiness would find me. I’m not saying achievements aren’t worth-while but I believed I could’ve done them better. My roommate, the one who never stops yapping in my mind was never truly satisfied with me.

Gratitude of course is the key. We have so much to be thankful for, and if we don’t count the blessings they become an expectation. We are living in a society where so many people are depressed with their lot in life and yet they have jobs, money, family and friends. Helping others, and not expecting anything in return brings joy and contentment. Making time to exercise, sleeping well and loving ourselves, flaws and all works wonders.

Regret of the past, bad decisions, and poor relationships with people can hold anyone back. But it’s part of the journey. We have to accept what is and let go of the past. We get one life – do your best, take care of yourself and free yourself from the bondage of others.