How does one say goodbye to your child? How can I move on when a part of my family is missing? When I see her face in every inch of my house. When memories of her pour from my heart?
Roxy was a cross between a Great Dane and a Boerboel. She was gold and beautiful with the kindest caramel eyes. I found her on a farm in Stellenbosch where I’d chosen her from all her siblings. She gave a sweet little sigh when she touched me with her wet nose and I just knew she was meant for me.
She was a puppy, but looked like a long-legged fur baby. She was sprightly, loved open spaces to run to her heart’s content. We had just moved into our second home and it had a big garden with lush lawn, a pond full of koi fish and it became Roxy’s playground. I battled to keep up with her for her energy was boundless.
My children grew up with Roxy. She became a pivotal part of our family, a loyal and fun-loving pet each shared a special bond with. She was always there to greet us in the mornings and say goodnight to. My day was made awaking to her adorable face and having chats with her. I was her mother and she was my darling.
Roxy had a way of melting my sadness, of driving the bluest day away just by the sight of her. She was never in a bad mood, never held grudges, never found excuses not to be with me, would listen to me intently like she understood every word. I often wondered what she’d say if she could speak, was she happy with me, did she love me?
Knowing Roxy I’d say a resounding yes. She’d let out that sweet sigh like there was nowhere else she’d rather be. I glimpsed it dancing in her eyes. Or when she’d brush her head against the backs of my legs to make her presence felt.
Rambo came into our lives about eight years ago when Zhané wanted a pet. He was the cutest puppy I’d ever seen and we worried how he’d adjust with Roxy. But we had nothing to fear for Roxy was glad for the company and the two became constant companions. As the years went on Roxy aged and her once boisterous self, took longer naps as her joints weakened. Yet she never lost her zest for life and utter goodness.
Twelve years may seem like a long life for a pet, but to me it felt like yesterday she’d leaped into my life and now she’s gone. I guess I always knew this day would arrive and I dreaded it. I thought she wouldn’t make a winter last year but she pulled through. Sadly, she didn’t make it this year.
I miss her so much. Our home is empty without her. It feels strange to leave the house without saying goodbye to her or arriving without my special welcome. I didn’t want her to leave but I couldn’t make her stay either. She was tired and needed to rest.
She’s with my Dad now. She couldn’t be in better company. And one day I’ll join them and we’ll rejoice in union. Until then, farewell Roxy, Mommy loves you ❤