Recovery after Bunion Surgery
This week has been relatively quiet. I’m glad to say the pain in my feet has subsided for I don’t feel it as much as before, which is marvellous. I took the dressing off my feet and viewed the wounds – they are still swollen and the markings where the Doctor worked is visible. I’m afraid of touching the wounds and cautious when washing them.
At this point it’s still a massive struggle to bath or shower properly. The entire process takes close to an hour daily and I’m very wary of placing pressure on my feet. Neil bought me a foot spa which allows me to soak them while gently washing off the marks surrounding the stitches.
However, they are healing nicely and becoming stronger as the weeks roll by. Finally I’m able to sleep comfortably at night for the fear of bumping them has diminished. I’ve returned to my old sleeping positions of lying curled up on my sides and flipping on my stomach – which I love – always a good indication of a restful nights’ rest:-).
When I awoke on Sunday, an intense dark mood overcame me. I didn’t feel like talking to my family and didn’t want to get out of bed. The more I tried to get to grips with what I was feeling, the sadder I became. I truly felt as if I had nothing to look forward to in life based on my current circumstances. I missed running intensely, craved my active lifestyle, pondered how well I was prospering before the op and how everything had come to a virtual standstill. As much as Neil tried to reassure me everything would be fine – the more I couldn’t seem to snap out of it. I cried and allowed waves of emotions to wash over me – not fighting them.
I believe it’s normal to go through depression after an op as you feel you aren’t living the same quality of life and as much as you try to stay positive, you cannot remain strong all the time. I stayed in bed, feeling sorry for myself while praying to God to grant me strength to get through the day – and it worked.
The next day I felt better. While sitting in my study gazing at my vision board, more especially at my list of goals for 2014 – I found the answer to uplift my spirits! The only goal on the list that had not materialised for me was MEDITATION. It has been on the list for the past two years and due to my hectic schedule in my heyday – I never quite found time to enforce it. Now was the perfect time to introduce it in my life. I immediately searched Google for a beginners guide to meditation and followed suit.
I sat in an upright position in a chair (at this stage I cannot sit in the lotus position), placed a mauve scented candle in a matching flower holder next to me on the table and lit the wick. I watched the flame dancing around, concentrating on the tip, practicing slow breathing through the nose while exhaling through the mouth. I must admit, meditation is incredibly tough to instil! My mind was racing as if it was at Killarney, all sorts of thoughts were buzzing in and out and try as I may, I couldn’t push them aside. Ten minutes felt like an hour and when I eventually came to the end of the sentence and blew out the flame – I wasn’t sure I was doing it right or whether I would continue!
But I’m happy to say I’ve persisted every day since – even though it hasn’t become easier! However, I feel at ease with myself and haven’t had a down day since, so it must be working! The benefits of meditation are enormous in alleviating stress, letting go of unnecessary burdens, refreshing your mind, delivering peace and tranquillity and most importantly, bringing you closer to God. If I can achieve half these benefits, I would make considerable progress in living a peaceful existence. So if any of you out there have any tips on improving my meditation technique, your comments are welcomed:).
This week I finished reading “Looking for Alaska” by John Green – which I consider to be one of the best books I’ve read by the Author and written a book review on it. I’ve started reading “Writing down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg and am thoroughly enjoying it. Every time I sit down with this book, inspiration stirs within me to write more:-). Following her advice, I incorporated free writing (writing down anything that springs to mind, allowing my thoughts to flow naturally) to my routine. As much as I thought I was going to run out of things to write – I’ve surprised myself by writing pages and pages of thoughts! I had no idea I had so much pent up energy screaming to be set free!
On Saturday, Neil and I went out on our weekly outing. We bought take out from Nando’s and watched the sunset over Milnerton Beach. We had the most wonderful time together, eating, chatting while watching the sun dipping between Lion’s Head and Signal Hill – a blissful sight to behold:-). I loved being outdoors (even if it was only sitting in the car) taking in the sights and sounds of the ocean, dogs running with their owners chasing after them, people snapping pictures of one another, ships passing in the night and lights twinkling all the way from the City Centre. It was a lazy Saturday night for Capetonians – a calmness before the storm – as the festive season arrives at our front door bringing along holiday makers to swarm our shore.
In summing up my week – I would say it was rather low key in terms of socialising. Even though I might think I’m not progressing as I should and missing out on all sorts of physical activities – I’m in actual fact putting in place vital measures of improving my mental well-being, refining my writing skills and getting to know myself pretty well. What more could I ask for?