Crunch Time …

So my op is scheduled to take place on 05/11/14 and I must admit I’m starting to feel totally APPREHENSIVE. My Doctor forewarned me that should I come down with a cold or flu, the op would have to be postponed – and guess what – I felt the scratching of a sore throat and my nose felt somewhat blocked this morning!!! Geez, I really hope it does not get any worse from here on!

The pressure is unbelievable at this stage, heading into an op. It’s not as if I haven’t been for one before, I’ve had two child births for goodness sake, so I know what it feels like to be hospitalised – the only problem is that this happened fourteen years ago – so I’m filled with trepidation. What further tends to upset my apple cart is when people around me relay how painful the procedure is going to be – as if they’ve personally gone through it themselves and think they’re doing me a huge favour by passing this information my way. I wish I could yell “If you don’t have anything good to say, then please don’t say anything at all!!!”. As much as I’ve tried to remain positive about this procedure, their remarks tend to get the better of me.

I also know I shouldn’t let my thinking stray into the future, but I cannot help but ponder how my life if going to be after the op – without mobility – having to depend on my family for almost everything. I’ve never quite been in this position before so it’s quite hard to visualise how it will all work out. However, I do know I need to stay in the present moment, for the here and now contains no fear.

The past week has seen me furiously tackling all my outstanding tasks, both at work and on the home front for I know I will not be able to do much as I head onto the long road to recovery. My Doctor added for good measure that the recovery period is going to be a slow and arduous process which will require tons of patience and tolerance on my part. I should mention that I have a short supply of patience – and this period is really going to test my mettle.

But yet, through all the consternation I feel, I remain optimistic about having time to do other things in life that I love – reading and writing. I have loads of books that will keep me company that I’ve put aside for special occasions and they will be called upon. Precious time has finally been afforded my way to write in peace without distractions getting the better of me. I shall have the opportunity to write all those romance stories that are bursting to come out and I cannot wait to see where they lead:).

And last, but not least, I have this blog – my pet project – that I started only recently, that has been somewhat exasperating to get used to, but now seems to be sailing along smoothly. My aim is to document my trials and triumphs through my recovery period which will ultimately serve as a form of therapy and contact with the outside world from the confines of my bed. I hope to keep you entertained with my moments of weakness, bursts of enthusiasm (if I can find them) and grateful moments that no doubt will present themselves as I learn valuable lessons in life.


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